CUTE PICTURES

Dammit! I'm Gonna Fuckin' Do This!

There is absolutely no reason for such a title. I'm not really sure why I chose to use it as the title for this post. Maybe because I'm determined to write on this blog more. I'm in summer school right now. So, honestly, I should be doing work. However, I'm really not used to the weird system it's all using so I'm going to start more legitimately working tomorrow, maybe. This post is completely unplanned so unlike any other post: I have no idea where this is going. I thought the picture of the baby panda was cute and motivational so enjoy that picture. I'm kinda insane, huh? OH! Imma give the link to my blog to my friends more now. So yeah. Michael's definitely gonna get a link. And so will Alex and I dunno who else to be honest. Actually, imma just post it on Facebook. 

So . . . Honestly wondering how insane my friend Henry thinks I am right now as he's somewhat reading over my shoulder. Oh well! Honestly It's kinda odd that I'm so happy now. Right now, I think my life is kinda perfect. Or at least perfect to me. Imma make a list of reasons why my life is pretty awesome right now. 

WHY MY LIFE IS AWESOME:

1. I'm dating Michael. A+ Boy ♥★
2. I have more friends (Bonnie, Alexis, Calvin, Jacob, Henry, etc)
3. I'm still close with Niles! Yay!
4. I'm NOT insane
5. My panic attacks are less violent
6. ^ And less often
7. I'm hella less suicidal
8. I'm just HAPPY!!!
9. I honestly just feel like everything is E-P-I-C! 🌟

So YEAH! Feelin' like a badass over here! Listening to The Haunting by Set It Off now (Thanks Alex) [She said "You're welcome" so yay I guess] It's fun watching her whisper sing along. NYO! I AM A FUCKING CUTE AND ADORABLE CHAOTIC KITTEN! FUCKING BOW DOWN TO ME! NYAN! MEOW!
I. . . uh. . . I sincerely apologize for my outburst. Please forgive me.  

Oh, new font, new font. This is very weird. {Verdana}
Trebuchet: AaBbCcDdEeFfGgHhIiJjKkLlMmNnOoPpQqRrSsTtUuVvWwXxYyZz
Courier: AaBbCcDdEeFfGgHhIiJjKkLlMmNnOoPpQqRrSsTtUuVvWwXxYyZz

So. . . um . .  . On a random note! A guy has a crush on me. It's weird. I honestly REALLY don't know how to feel about it. I don't wanna tell everyone who it is because I feel that would be mean but imma call him Syl (Sil?) Anyway! Syl really likes me so I try to avoid talking to him. {BY THE WAY: This person is someone that does not personally know my boyfriend Michael} He's always touching me and hugging me and I get really uncomfortable. He knows I have a boyfriend too. He's a somewhat nice guy but. . . No. I could never date him. IF I were to ever break up with Michael and get a new boyfriend I would autimatically go to Paradox/Alex. NO ONE ELSE. Sure as Hell not Syl. And I'm not planning on breaking up with Michael at all so . . .   IIi
II

ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU ALL AND BYE-BYE! ~ ♥ ★

English is. . .

NOTE: I WROTE THIS FOR A SCHOOL PROJECT SO WHILE IT'S HONEST IT'S SHORT AND POSSIBLY REALLY STUPID

English is a language. In fact English is the most widespread language spoken. English is also an art form.  It’s a tool for communicating ideals and thoughts to others. It’s a precious tool for communication and expression. English can be vast and seemingly endless and at the same time limited and constricting.  While on the outside it can help your outward expression, on the inside it can nearly suffocate you within a  prearranged  mindset., within the proverbial box I should say. English is something to revere, and fear.

Q&A

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: While I love writing, I want to be a therapist so I can help people with their issues
.
Q: What are your views on current political issues?
A: Well, I’ll express my disdain towards police brutality as I am completely against in, and my whole-heated support of legalized gay marriage. I really hate when people are racist or anything like it.

Q: How do you work to better society?
A: I compliment people, try to make them smile. A happy community is the best community.

Q: In your poem you say your name means “'This is gospel for the fallen ones' and 'You haven't seen the best of me yet'” What does it mean?
A: It’s a quote from This is Gospel by Panic! At The Disco, it reminds me of how I strive to be there to help others in their worst times and how when I’m determined I’ll never give up until I win.

Q: How do you relieve stress?
A: Write, scream, and sleep. Not necessarily in that order but I found that as childish as they are they help me chill out.

Q: Do you think yourself as a good person? Why or why not?
A: Yes and no. While in my mind I’m pretty evil, I tend to jump in front of the bullet to help others in reality, even if I don’t like the person at all.

Q: What do you think of school?
A: I think school is a necessity. Too many people lack the basic intelligence to function in life. School is an active way to prevent that in the future.

Q: What piece of music/art/literature relates to you?
A: Once again I’ll go with P! ATD This is Gospel, the meaning behind the lyrics of the song speak to me in so many ways.

Q: What do you think of name meanings?
A: Well I love water and Morgan means born of the sea/sea circle so that’s cool but I don’t believe they hold real meaning

Q: What morals do you believe the world should have more of?
A: Honesty, and Justice. Short and simple!

Perfection or Dreams

Perfection is Fiction. Dreams Can Come True.

If perfection could manifest,

It would change and alter itself, with every encounter.

Some people don’t have a single thought about what they find as perfect,

They just cannot have such thoughts themselves.

Some others know exactly what they would have if perfection were to manifest,

If only perfection could manifest.

Alas it cannot, and I know very well perfection cannot truly exist.

Yet still if perfection cannot manifest, we still know dreams can come true.

So as I cannot form perfection into reality, I dreamt.

I dreamt and I dreamt.

I believe I know well what I dreamt.

I dreamt. . .

A world without conflict 

A world with hope, love, and kindness.

I dreamt of a world filled with laughter.

A world of happiness.

That is the realm of which I dream.

My Life Story With Much Less Detail

I used to be an extremely unreasonably happy person. I didn't have friends and if I did they were temporary or imaginary, but I was happy. The only time I felt sad was usually empathy, though I didn't know it at the time. I lived with 3 brothers, Matt and Shane and Skyler and 1 sister, Krystal. I'm the youngest. My father Dan and my mother Lauri. Now I grew up with no step family. They were family or they were not. So, I knew that Matt and Shane weren't fully related and that Matt and Shane were not related to Krystal and Skyler by blood at all but I didn't fully get what that meant. When I was 8 Matt and Shane had moved out and I only saw them in the summer or during holidays. I also knew that Dan hated Sky and Krys. He would never let them do anything unless it was bringing me out and they always got punished. I was a brat and always got what I wanted but rarely ever got punished. I remember being really mad and depressed when Dan was the reason I saw my sister cry for the first time. When I was 8 or 9 my sister told me Dan wasn't my father. When I was 9 my parents got a divorce. And when I was almost 10 my real father [unbeknownst to me] entered my life. Wold was a good guy and I became friends with him like the majority of my moms friends. On my 10th birthday I bugged my mom about my real father and she told me she would call him, I saw the caller id. Oh well, I got over it and we stayed cool though I started calling him dad along with Wold well as Dan whom switched between the two as well, though I didn't talk to him at this point. I figured out I had 3 more older siblings, Brittany being older than Coty and Star being the youngest. I got to meet and befriend Star and got to text Coty who stopped Star and, unintentionally, me from cutting. I did stop texting him afterward and never got back to doing so as he was busy. When I was 13 I got to meet Brittany and even though we don't know each other well she treats me as a sister. Now at 14, Wold, who said I was his child, got me tested and doesn't pay child support or talk to me. Brittany stood up for me, saying she knew I was her sister and that he knew I was his child. Ironically, as much as I've said, I'm still leaving so much out. But that isn't the point. I think was around 9 I started to change. It was fast but not all at once that I became violent and overall angry. I was never truly happy. I wasn't sad, just pissed. It got worse and worse until I started writing and singing, which I'll talk about later. I hated my life and. Everyone and everything about it. Even at 10 I was bitter but getting better. At 11 I was happy again. I didn't talk to Dan but I had kept my two friends I had made when 9 and had a dad again. And then the drop. I don't know how it happened but Wold stopped talking to me and everything in life that I ever did wrong and all the stress, everything, came crashing down. The bullies, the abandonment, the lack of true joy. I became depressed. And I became depressed and  suicidal. I was never truly happy, it was all a facade. And now at 14? I've cut now and the thoughts have gotten worse. Ever since I was a baby I've had nightmares but I used to be able to cope. Now they're even more lucid and I can still feel everything that happens except now I don't wake up when I get hurt or attacked etc., now I continue dreaming and keep the pain for a while. I am able to be truly happy for brief moments, like with my friends, but generally speaking I want to die. I ran in front of a car today. I didn't get hit and it looked like an accident but I was hoping to get hit. I don't know why I decided to post this but now you know.

I Don't Know Why I'm Writing This When I Don't Want You to Know. . .

Why is it that I have so many issues? I was left by both my fathers, I've been bullied my whole life, gotten into more fights and gotten attacked more times than I can count, I have no friends in real life that I can tell everything to. Why is it I have panic attacks and depression? Why is it that I hate pain but always want to slice my skin open? It's weird, I know some people care but I want to die. Even when I'm talking to people right now, I want to hurt myself. Even when I'm in a conversation I'll have to make sure they can't hear me cry. I hate myself. I shouldn't. But i do. I find myself unworthy of existing. If you were to kill me I would thank you. If you were to slowly torture me, I'd smile and be extremely grateful. I know that some people want me to stop, want me to not harm myself, want me to live. Yet the thought of myself in agony, dying, entices me. I don't want to tell people because I don't want to be stopped. I don't even know why I'm writing this now, because I know they'll see this. I'm actually on a call with them right now, and I muted my microphone, because I started sobbing. I don't even know what to write or type. Nothing I could say could describe how I feel accurately. So, to those who care: I'm sorry. But I can't help it. Shall I be selfish and ask?: Help me? Please? I'm sorry, I have no right to ask. . .  I don't know why I'm writing this, I don't want you to know how I feel. And I said I don't want to be stopped. I guess I'm lying to myself. I'm a damned mystery to myself.

Sticks and stones?

No.

Knives and pens?

No.

Pills and nails?

No.

What than?

My thoughts and Me,

Will be the death of me.

I Am Me. Are You You?

I am Me.

I am the only me.

I am real; the real me.

Who are you?

Are you the only you?

How do you know?

If, perhaps, you are not the only you. . .

Are you the real you?

How do you know?

If, perchance, you are not the real you. . .

Is there a real you at all?

How do you know?

Do you know at all?

Do you exist at all?

How do you know?

Do you know?

Who are you?

And, who am I?

To be talking to you;

Who may or may not exist?

I think therefore I am.

Do you think?

Are you?

How do you know?

Do you know?

Do you really know?

What if you are only a (day)dream?

Do you exist?

Or are you only an echo?

Or maybe a figment of an imagination?

Are you a thing?

Are you real or existant at all?

How do you know?

The one and the only; the real me:

Is Me.

I am.

Are you?

Who or what are you? (If you are at all)

And why are you? (If, in fact, you are)

Do you hold this 'fact' as truth?

As correct?

How do you know? 

Do you know?

How could you know?

You can't.

You don't.

You never will.

You never could.

Motivation!

With every day the sun rises and sets. And with time and it's endless motion life will go on. With or without you. There are many choices in life but I believe the most important choice anyone makes is the choice to be involved with the world and others, the choice to live and not simply exist. No, I may not be very positive and I may be contradicting of myself but I'm me, and I'll never deny that. I'll claim to be awesome,and I'll lie and even say I'm fine. People do that. So long as you leave your heart open, you'll always find a way, a will, a friend. You'll always be loved and you'll never be alone. If you ever feel that way, you can think of me, because even if I don't know you I know you are precious, beautiful, and how much you matter! Even if I don't know you I am and always will be your friend.

This Is Just Pictures From Seven Hours on Photo-Shop

I Categorize My Friends and I Have Nervous Habits

Group #1- Oxygen Friends: These are the friends I know and love and could not live without. My friends in this category are NJ, Xeno, Brown, Zeepees, and Cannon. Ironically I've never met these people in real life. I don't even really know these people and yet I need them. I love them. That's bad, isn't it? My "best friend" of five years doesn't fall in this category. Unlike S (my "best friend") I can tell them everything.

Group #2- Medicinal Friends: These are friends I don't need. I could live without them rather easily. They help me a lot, but I don't need them. They know me pretty well but not everything. Bon-Bon, Alex, S., and Danny Phantom fall in this category.

Group #3- Squad Friends: The people I hang with but don't really know well. I hang out with them when I'm with them but other than that I don't talk with them. They know the part of me I don't hide.

Group #4- Acquaintances: Enough said? I'll talk with them. I don't normally want to see them. I lie to them about who I am. Most of my family falls here.

Group #5-  Strangers: Enough said. I may know them, they don't know me. Ironically out of all the groups aside from my "Oxygen Friends" they know the most about me if they observe. How I'm always quiet or fidgeting.

By the way my fidgeting is a nervous habit, I always do it. No matter what, I'm always doing something, normally mouthing words or humming quietly. If I do this when I'm around someone it means I really don't want to lose them.

This is My Bad Habit

I care about everything, way too much. There is literally no one dead or alive I would seriously hurt in any way if I could avoid it. I don't think I even have the physical or mental capabilities to hate anyone but myself. And I'm constantly scared of hurting, holding back, or being a detriment to others. So, I try to distance myself from others. I'm used to being left after a while anyway so it saves me the pain. I hide my emotions; I don't like letting people know how I feel. Especially because I can't stand seeing anyone hurt. So I act like I don't care so I don't get too close or attatched and so I can't hurt them.

You Told Me to Update and You Always Seem to Want to Know My Thoughts

This is for someone who means a lot to me. A thank you of sorts. I've never met you in person, and rarely hear your voice. There are many periods of time we don't even text because of me being to shy or even scared to talk to you, for fear of hurting you or making you hate me. And yet every time I muster up the courage, you're there for me. I've hurt you so much. I've betrayed you. Deceived you. And I never deserved you. But you loved me. And even when I broke you, you forgave me and remained my friend. You still find it in your heart to love me as a friend. You still never leave or hurt me. You've helped me so much. You pick me up when I fall and make me smile through the tears. You never stopped supporting me. When I felt worthless, depressed, full of rage, when I cut, when I wanted nothing more than to die, you were there. To stop me, to soothe me, to make me feel like I was worth something, loved, cared for, and listened to. We've never met in person. I rarely hear your voice. I end up avoiding even messaging you at all at times. I haven't even known you for very long. But here you are. So thank you. For everything. For saying hello when we first met. For talking with me. For being my friend. For staying with me. For putting up with me. For loving me. For helping me. For being there for me. For being you! For everything! Thank you! I don't deserve you and nothing I can say or write or scream can ever convey my gratitude and love for you. I love you. Thank you! And I'm sorry. I'm so so so intensely sorry for everything I've done to hurt you. And I'll do whatever I can to make sure I never do it again. I'll do my best to make you happy. And I'll do whatever I can to be as great of a friend as you are to me. So, I ask you selfishly, stay with me, for as long as we can remain together? Allow me to try to be worthy of you. I'm sorry. I love you. I don't deserve you. Thank you.
Honestly; I could never stop feeling this way about you. So once again, I love you.

P-p-please, don't l-l-leave me. . .
B-b-but, y-you p-p-p-probably sh-should. . .

Rant.

This, is a rant. Deal with it.

   So Ugh. Life is such a vindictive bitch. I see humans every day yet rarely humanity. People almost never mean what they say and yet they never shut the fuck up. Humanity can be beautiful but sometimes I swear  our existence is a huge mistake. War. Genocide. Homicide. Suicide. Sexism. Racism. Prejudice. And religious hate. And that's not even the worst of it all. I understand that conflict is necessary for life but why must it be so constant and dominating? Why is there no end? I see people hurt themselves or others almost every day and it makes me sick! I'm fourteen and have so little faith in humanity. Co-Existence of humans and all other life on earth? Try immense and unavoidable  mutual destruction of life. I feel like humanity could be just like hell.
   Even when it's small problems like idiots not shutting their god damned mouthes or littering. Hell even bad driving can tick me off sometimes. I see all these things and think: I should not be angered by such trivial matters. But I am! Why? Because I'm human and have emotions. I hate emotions sometimes. Love is waiting sadness 98% of the time. Anger? That's a secondary emotion, it's only caused by two other emotions or feelings like neglect and embarrassment. Anger makes people do stupid things that they often regret. I'd never commit suicide or cut myself or even try to hurt anyone if I could help it, not even myself. But sometimes the thought of pain, of death is just so GOD DAMN ENTICING!!!!!
    There are times when I just sit and rock myself traumatized, cry myself to sleep, listen to the silence and wish my heartbeat wasn't there to disturb it, or just break down sobbing feeling as if I shouldn't exist. I know that to some I do have meaning. And I know that I have people who will listen to me without complaint. Hell I know people who encourage me to tell them everything no matter what. But I wish that the mistake of humanity and human lives, especially mine, were never created. And after I've calmed down from my fit? I feel even worse for wanting to die, for taking one step closer to the edge of my sanity, for getting one second closer to brutally killing myself or others at all. I'll hate myself further for laughing at all the suffering in the world. It's a fucked up world and fucked up life. And sometimes the only comfort will be found with a knife.

Ideas Ideas.

So my friend and I were talking about Five Nights at Freddy's (FNAF) and we came up with a game. You need a room with two doors and you'd assign a nightgaurd and animatronics. Nightgaurd stays in the room with a flashlight and can close the doors while the anamatronics try to sneak in. You have to set up your own time needed to 'survive the night shift'

So I'm in Gifted and Talented for reading at school and I mentioned that I was writing more on Wattpad a bit. I ended up explaining what it was and now my G.T. teacher wants me to bring it in and show her. I love my writing but I'm scared to show her... But I'm stuck doing it anyway so as Christenarium says quite often "Balls to it" hopefully I wont be too embarassed.

I have a lot of random ideas. I recently finished a story too. So yay. Ideas ideas. 

Advice I felt like posting.

So... here's a bit of... Advice? Well, whatever: It is never selfish to put your morals before others pleasure. If they were true friends they wouldn't make you choose between them.

Philosophy of mine: What is tommorow if all that is left of today are the tears of yesterday?

Moral of philosophy: Don't live in the past, if you do you'll be stuck in a never ending cycle of pain and regret. Solve problems as they arise and live life like you want to. Don't dwell on regret.

I should stick to America. Or just out of relationships.

I'm really not good with other countries. It never seems to work out when I'm involved in any way. Or maybe that's just relationships in general. It normaly goes great if I´m just giving advice but if I'm personally involved it's doomed.

A friend of mine, S, (she'd be ticked if I used her real name) had an online boyfriend and we 3 had a skype chat. Later that night S thinks her boyfriend likes me more. Ugh. Later on they broke up. He was from Canada. I have nothing against Canada, it just didn't work.

At one point I had S and a guy who liked her get together and that only ended in hatred of the guy and bad memories. He was from our town.

Another internet boyfriend experience. I had a canadian online boyfriend. It went well for a while before he started asking for nudes and I told him to fuck off. Yeah. The truth was unveiled.

This next one is yet another internet boyfriend expierience, this one is more understandable. He is from Scottland. I asked him out and it went well but he figured it would be best to break up. We did, we're still friends. Although later he admits he thought he loved me when in reality he still has feelings for someone he lost years ago. Don't get me wrong, I'm not mad. That's really sweet in fact. I just hope he doesn't get hurt.
I choose not to go further on that or into other relationships of mine.
I give advice and help like a boss, if I dont get involved. It's the therapist in me, I swear.

Friends are Awesome

      Maybe it's just me but I have a variety of 'friends' and I have a love/hate relationship with all of them. I have one friend that is awesome but we always greet each other with insults. It's funny when others think we hate each other.
      At the moment I'm 'working' with three of my friends. All guys and all smart (some more than others) and all irritating. Will, I always hit and yell at. Wyatt, I also yell at but I don't hit him, he's creative and fun but UGH! he has a personality that just makes me want yell at him because I know he's smart but he doesn't shut up. 
     
Ethan is my favourite one here. He's irritating because he's too awesome for my liking. He's the smartest and most outspoken and creative. I don't mind his company. He doesn't act like an idiot all the time like the others (Shut up Ethan! [he's reading as I'm writing] Sorry I'm nice to you) and when he does it's an adorable idiocy. (No, I don't have a crush on him, I'm just blunt) Sooo. . . YAY! Ethan is the most awesome friend EVER! I'm going to be honest (and regret this later) and say he's attractive (a lot more than the others) and I friggin love his sense of humor. Ethan is the bestest!

The World Is Not as it Seems. Life is a Computer Simulation.

Ever wonder what causes déjà vu? Or how about magic? And let’s not forget ghosts and monsters and other creatures. Even some types of immensely researched sciences like alchemy seem to make no real sense at times! So what’s the reason, how can this be?! Simple, our world is a computer simulation sometimes referred to as ‘The Lattice’ and most of the time we don’t even realize it at all.  Our world is little more than a game of Sims. Don’t believe me? I can tell you why you’re wrong.

            Let me start small so I can try to keep this understandable. Wouldn’t we notice something ‘off’ about the world? Glitches in the system? They can’t have a perfect system, right? Well, we do see glitches. There are many unexplained phenomena in the world that we have no scientific reasons for their existance, examples are ghosts, monsters, magic, and even déjà vu.

 Déjà vu is french for "I've seen this all before" and it refers to when a situation seems like it's happened before. Déjà vu is when something happens and you then know or think something you’re not supposed too and who/whatever controls the simulation alters and/or deletes thoughts and memories so you don’t remember anything. To fill in the missing framework of your mind they reuse frames of memory, like similar pages in a flipbook to fill in space for the story.

            Monsters, creatures, and ghosts are glitches galore. These odd things aren’t supposed to exist to us. They’re simply rips in the programming that fabricate our universe, false or incorrect programing, and the glitches that no one realized or cared to fix. Whether these ‘glitches’ exist outside of the lattice is something we cannot know, just as we do not know who created and is running the lattice.

            12.21.2012 was supposed to be the end of the world right? There are many theories about the apocalypse. Jeane Dixon believes 2020 is the year Armageddon will take place and Jesus will return to defeat the unholy Trinity of the Antichrist, Satan and the False prophet of between 2020 and 2037. One explanation for apocalypse theories are that they are the result of ‘people’ seeing and retaining erased data from previous and failed lattices and/or simulations.

            Now many people see life in black and white; in this case, 1’s and 0’s, so let’s look at this in a tad more mathematical perspective. If everything in existence can be proven by math and science, why is it so illogical that our own life is really just a series of 1’s and 0’s in a world of 1’s and 0’s creating a false universe? If everything is mathematically proven our existence should be somehow mathematical as well right?

          Screen resolution is the number of pixels used. The image on your computer screen is built up from thousands or millions of pixels. The screen creates the image you see by changing the colours of these pixels. Nothing can be displayed as smaller than a single pixel. Reality is just a simulation or world with a very high screen resolution.

 The planet we live on is the perfect distance from the sun to provide life, has an atmosphere protecting us from harmful radiation and UV rays and allowing us to breathe oxygen that we need to survive, has water and fertile soil used to grow food, and other life forms we can eat. Now our planet was allegedly created because of an explosion in space and debris being pulled into an orbit and cooling to eventually support life. This happened in an allegedly endless amount of space and it just so happened in the perfect way to create humanity. Scientifically speaking there is a less than miniscule chance of that legitimately happening.

        Okay, even if all of that actually did happen in reality and even if I am right and we live in a simulation: What’s the purpose? It’s a fair question and you deserve an answer. There are many reasons for the Lattice to exist. We could be a game for someone who is extremely bored as sad as that thought may be. We could be a test subject, used to test diseases, medicines, war strategies, apocalyptic situations, and even our reactions other life forms and beings. The latter is more logical as it would save resources, money, and even lives to test it on a simulation rather than living beings. Maybe we just exist as a simulation to teach the beings how humanity evolved and got to be as it is outside the Lattice or how they would fare if humanity outside the Lattice does not yet exist.

While this idea seems incomprehensible, a team of physicists at the University of Washington has come up with a potential test to see if the idea makes sense. First of all the idea comes from a 2003 paper published in Philosophical Quarterly by Nick Bostrom, a philosophy professor at the University of Oxford. He believed that at least one of the following is true:

• The human species is likely to go extinct before reaching a “posthuman” stage.
• Any posthuman civilization is very unlikely to run a significant number of simulations of its evolutionary history.
• We are almost certainly living in a computer simulation.

He also held that “the belief that there is a significant chance that we will one day become post-humans who run ancestor simulations is false, unless we are currently living in a simulation.”

With current limits on computerization it will be decades before before researchers will be able to run even primitive simulations of the universe. University of Washington has suggested tests that can be performed now, or in the near future, that are sensitive to constraints imposed on future simulations by limited resources.

Martin Savage, a UW physics professor says “Currently, supercomputers using a technique called lattice quantum chromodynamics and starting from the fundamental physical laws that govern the universe can simulate only a very small portion of the universe, on the scale of one 100-trillionth of a meter, a little larger than the nucleus of an atom”

Eventually computers will be able to create a simulation on the scale of a human being but it will take many generations before we can simulate a large enough part of the universe to understand the prevention of physical processes that would hint at a simulated world.

The supercomputers performing lattice quantum chromodynamics calculations essentially divide space-time into a four-dimensional grid. This allows researchers to examine what is called the strong force, one of the four fundamental forces of nature and the one that binds subatomic particles together into neutrons and protons at the core of atoms.

“If you make the simulations big enough, something like our universe should emerge, Then it would be a matter of looking for a “signature” in our universe that has an analog in the current small-scale simulations.” Savage says.

Savage and colleagues Silas Beane of the University of New Hampshire and Zohreh Davoudi, a UW physics graduate student, suggest that the signature could show up as a limitation in the energy of cosmic rays. They say that the highest-energy cosmic rays would not travel along the edges of the lattice in the model but would travel diagonally, and they would not interact equally in all directions as they otherwise would be expected to.

   There are many things in this world we cannot yet research or prove with mathematics and science, our own existence included. We live in a computer simulation. For what reason and for whom I do not know, and perhaps I never will. Or maybe I already did know and the creator just made me forget about it. Hmmm. . . . Déjà vu.

(Pictures found on Google images and information from http://www.washington.edu/news/2012/12/10/do-we-live-in-a-computer-simulation-uw-researchers-say-idea-can-be-tested/)