Friday, January 22, 2016
This is My Bad Habit
I care about everything, way too much. There is literally no one dead or alive I would seriously hurt in any way if I could avoid it. I don't think I even have the physical or mental capabilities to hate anyone but myself. And I'm constantly scared of hurting, holding back, or being a detriment to others. So, I try to distance myself from others. I'm used to being left after a while anyway so it saves me the pain. I hide my emotions; I don't like letting people know how I feel. Especially because I can't stand seeing anyone hurt. So I act like I don't care so I don't get too close or attatched and so I can't hurt them.
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I understand your habit but have you ever tried to let those doors open? Have you ever tried to let them in? Very vague question but I'm relating to someone like me. Why not? I'm willing and able, I don't have that much to lose. If you have the time, you should think about it.
ReplyDelete-Niles
DeleteBecause of me being used to people leaving me in one way or another for some reason or another I gave up on trying to let people love me, it normally hurts me. So why not? Selfishly; I got sick and tired of the pain. I do let people in, like you. Just not a lot.
DeleteWhy not a little more, to the right people that is. Like me, I'm down for the trip If your ok with it. I don't have a lot to lose especially in this part of my life ahead of me. I lend you my ears now for a free opportunity from someone who cares. Might not get another chance you know.
DeleteI've been trying and I am getting better, slowly. And I know you care, I'm grateful for it. So, forgive me if it takes a while to get used to being loved again please. I promise I really do appreciate you, and I will be breaking down my walls around you and a few others. (More like strategically removing each brick carefully for best results but you get the point) Thank you Niles!
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